From Self-Protection to Self-Acceptance

Many of us have a hard time accepting compliments — I know I did. For most of my life, I couldn’t take a kind word without cringing or brushing it off. Deep down, I knew I had value, but I had learned early on to be suspicious of praise. Growing up around people who had mastered the art of backhanded compliments taught me that kind words were often just a setup for criticism, wrapped in flattery.

Maybe you can relate. Have you ever found yourself dodging compliments or shrinking away from moments where someone might acknowledge something positive about you or your life? Do you find yourself deflecting with humor, disagreeing, or even trying to convince the other person they’re wrong?

I want to share a piece of advice that someone gave me not too long ago — and it changed everything.

They said, “Just say thank you.”

That’s it. Two words. And let me tell you, for someone who lives in deep gratitude, those two words were some of the hardest I’ve ever had to learn to say in response to a compliment.

I had to learn to let go of the feeling that I was unworthy of compliments. I had to unlearn the habit of self-deprecation I had used to protect myself. I had to put down my sword and shield and start trusting myself. Trust that if someone wasn’t being sincere, I could recognize it and walk away emotionally untouched — I didn’t have to engage in that battle.

But if the words were genuine? If someone offered me kindness from the heart? I had to learn how to receive that, too — not with suspicion or discomfort, but with gratitude. I had to be open to the idea that someone might be seeing something beautiful in me that I didn’t always see in myself.

It’s not always easy. It takes practice and patience. But the more we allow ourselves to simply say “thank you,” the more we grow in confidence and worthiness. Marianne Williamson said it best in her poem Our Deepest Fear: 

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

Here’s to feeling safe to give and receive kindness and let your light shine brightly!